Proverbs 18 (cont'd)
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April 22, 2012
The last five messages I have shared have been based upon a
single verse of scripture: Prov.18:19. We need to understand the
picture we are given of what happens to the person who holds on to and nurtures
an offence. It is that of a person locked away behind bars, totally
disconnected relationally, lonely, bitter, fearful, filled with shame – and more
than anything else unable to ever trust.
That inability to trust is related to the fact that our trust
has been violated. Usually that violation takes place in childhood and usually
it involves an authority figure. Finally, the wounding of the heart can actually
begin while in the womb.
Here is where I want to pick it up this morning. The choice of
that person who violated our trust may have put us in that locked down citadel
of Proverbs 18:19, but the thing
that keeps us there is the choice we make. There is a choice that will free me
from that prison of the offended heart and at core that choice is to
forgive.
The choice to not forgive is the same as drinking poison and
waiting for your offender to die.
THREE PROVERBS:
Prov.12:16
A fool’s
anger is known at once, But a prudent man conceals dishonor.
Prov.17:9He
who conceals
a transgression seeks love,
But he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends.
Prov.19:11
A man’s discretion
makes him slow to anger,
And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.
Essentially these three proverbs deal with the same issue: the response of wisdom to an offence,
insult, sin or violation. I want to work through the first of these three
proverbs: Prov.12:16.
First let’s go to the words of Jesus. Here is the first point of
wisdom regarding this matter of offense. Matt.18:7
Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but
woe to that man by whom the offense comes!
There are a couple of things we need to take
away from this. 1) There is
presently no such thing as an offense-free zone. 2)
The spiritual formation of our heart is taking place not in the absence of
offenses but in the presence of offenses. 3)
God will judge and deal with the person by whom the offense
comes.
Since I cannot live free of the presence of
offenses I need to know how to respond to those offenses when they arrive. And
that brings us back to this: Prov.12:16
Afool’s
anger is known at once, But a prudent man conceals dishonor.
The proverb is contrasting the reactions of the fool
and the wise man to the same issue –
the issue of dishonour, insult, or
offense. The problem with the fool is not the issue of anger. Not all anger
is wrong; there is a righteous anger. The problem with the fool is that he is not
in control of his anger – in fact he is not in control of his feelings or
emotions at all. When he meets an offense or a perceived offense he explodes
and boils over; no restraint, control, measure or discipline. Such is the way of
the fool.
In contrast to this we have the ‘prudent
man’. The word ‘prudent’
comes from a Hebrew root that carries both a positive
and negativeconnotation. The
negative meaning is: to
be subtle, shrewd, crafty, and wary, to take crafty counsel. When we come over to the New
Testament we arrive at this: ‘pertaining
to being tricky and cunning, with a focus on evil treachery.’ The ultimate expression of its negative connotation is found
in: Gen 3:1, “Now the serpent was more crafty than any other wild
creature which the Lord God had made.”
The positive connotation of this same root
word from which we get the word ‘prudent’ is expressed in the
following:‘To
be skilful or wise; to be ready or prepared to do a thing.’ Proverbs describes the prudent or wise person this way:
The
prudent one does not vaunt his knowledge (Prov 12:23). He ignores an insult
(Prov 12:16). He acts with knowledge (Prov 14:8). He looks where he is going
(Prov 14:15). He sees danger and acts appropriately (Prov 22:3; 27:12). He is
crowned with knowledge (Prov 14:18).
I hope you see the difference here. This is
not a man living out of his emotions and feelings. This man’s soul is stable,
measured, disciplined, governed and controlled. The issue that both the fool and
the prudent are faced with is expressed in the word ‘dishonour’. Here is its definition from the original
languages of the scripture: the use of insult
particularly against one’s position or place; to disgrace, be lightly esteemed,
be dishonoured, be despised; to treat with contempt, to treat shamefully; to be
classified as a nobody, to be degraded, to be considered of very low status or
priority; to be overlooked or ignored.
According to Christ we cannot live in this
world and escape this culture of
offense. It will touch our souls to one degree or another. This means that
the ultimate issue is not – How am I going to
create a world free of this, but rather, how
am I going to respond to it when I meet it?
The answer to that from our Prov.12:16 text is: But
a prudent man conceals dishonor. The key word is ‘conceals’ which is defined by the
following words:‘cover,
hide, overwhelm, close, clothe, to spread over.’
We must be careful to understand that this is not about denial. It is not
about pretending we were not violated when in fact we were. This is not a call
to self-deception.
This whole idea of covering or to spread
over is very close to the same idea of atonement
which means to
cover or to
overwhelm by spreading a covering over a thing.By virtue of this
‘overwhelming by covering’ there is
a blotting out (the removal from view)
of the thing being covered. This is very
different from denial– this is dealing with a thing by blotting
it out. And when it is blotted out it no longer has negative influence over
you.
But here is the twist in all of this – the final point. In any
significant research on the definition of this word you will find the word
forgive or forgiveness many times. There is the heart of it. I cannot stop the insult,
the sin, the offense and the violation of those who choose to do that to me. But
I can choose to forgive, and when I do that
offense is overwhelmed by the
overspreading cover of love, grace and forgiveness.Thus the insult is blotted
out and no longer has any power to keep my soul – my heart– in that locked
up citadel described in Proverbs
18:19.
As long as I choose not to forgive, I remain the victim of the
offender who victimized me.
What is it that makes forgiveness such a powerful and freeing
reality in the lives of those who choose to forgive?Forgiveness is not so much for or about the
offender as it is the offended. Here’s why. In
choosing not to forgive I am assuming the right to judge the offender and to
exact retribution and vengeance. This keeps me tied to the offender and the
offense. The Bible makes it clear that this right
belongs exclusively to God. And for me to assume that right I am assuming the
place of God.
When I choose to forgive I am releasing the offender to the justice
and judgement of God, but far more importantly for me I am submitting myself to
God and giving Him the supreme place of ruler-ship in my heart. This is always
liberating.
April 22, 2012
The last five messages I have shared have been based upon a
single verse of scripture: Prov.18:19. We need to understand the
picture we are given of what happens to the person who holds on to and nurtures
an offence. It is that of a person locked away behind bars, totally
disconnected relationally, lonely, bitter, fearful, filled with shame – and more
than anything else unable to ever trust.
That inability to trust is related to the fact that our trust
has been violated. Usually that violation takes place in childhood and usually
it involves an authority figure. Finally, the wounding of the heart can actually
begin while in the womb.
Here is where I want to pick it up this morning. The choice of
that person who violated our trust may have put us in that locked down citadel
of Proverbs 18:19, but the thing
that keeps us there is the choice we make. There is a choice that will free me
from that prison of the offended heart and at core that choice is to
forgive.
The choice to not forgive is the same as drinking poison and
waiting for your offender to die.
THREE PROVERBS:
Prov.12:16
A fool’s
anger is known at once, But a prudent man conceals dishonor.
Prov.17:9He
who conceals
a transgression seeks love,
But he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends.
Prov.19:11
A man’s discretion
makes him slow to anger,
And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.
Essentially these three proverbs deal with the same issue: the response of wisdom to an offence,
insult, sin or violation. I want to work through the first of these three
proverbs: Prov.12:16.
First let’s go to the words of Jesus. Here is the first point of
wisdom regarding this matter of offense. Matt.18:7
Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but
woe to that man by whom the offense comes!
There are a couple of things we need to take
away from this. 1) There is
presently no such thing as an offense-free zone. 2)
The spiritual formation of our heart is taking place not in the absence of
offenses but in the presence of offenses. 3)
God will judge and deal with the person by whom the offense
comes.
Since I cannot live free of the presence of
offenses I need to know how to respond to those offenses when they arrive. And
that brings us back to this: Prov.12:16
Afool’s
anger is known at once, But a prudent man conceals dishonor.
The proverb is contrasting the reactions of the fool
and the wise man to the same issue –
the issue of dishonour, insult, or
offense. The problem with the fool is not the issue of anger. Not all anger
is wrong; there is a righteous anger. The problem with the fool is that he is not
in control of his anger – in fact he is not in control of his feelings or
emotions at all. When he meets an offense or a perceived offense he explodes
and boils over; no restraint, control, measure or discipline. Such is the way of
the fool.
In contrast to this we have the ‘prudent
man’. The word ‘prudent’
comes from a Hebrew root that carries both a positive
and negativeconnotation. The
negative meaning is: to
be subtle, shrewd, crafty, and wary, to take crafty counsel. When we come over to the New
Testament we arrive at this: ‘pertaining
to being tricky and cunning, with a focus on evil treachery.’ The ultimate expression of its negative connotation is found
in: Gen 3:1, “Now the serpent was more crafty than any other wild
creature which the Lord God had made.”
The positive connotation of this same root
word from which we get the word ‘prudent’ is expressed in the
following:‘To
be skilful or wise; to be ready or prepared to do a thing.’ Proverbs describes the prudent or wise person this way:
The
prudent one does not vaunt his knowledge (Prov 12:23). He ignores an insult
(Prov 12:16). He acts with knowledge (Prov 14:8). He looks where he is going
(Prov 14:15). He sees danger and acts appropriately (Prov 22:3; 27:12). He is
crowned with knowledge (Prov 14:18).
I hope you see the difference here. This is
not a man living out of his emotions and feelings. This man’s soul is stable,
measured, disciplined, governed and controlled. The issue that both the fool and
the prudent are faced with is expressed in the word ‘dishonour’. Here is its definition from the original
languages of the scripture: the use of insult
particularly against one’s position or place; to disgrace, be lightly esteemed,
be dishonoured, be despised; to treat with contempt, to treat shamefully; to be
classified as a nobody, to be degraded, to be considered of very low status or
priority; to be overlooked or ignored.
According to Christ we cannot live in this
world and escape this culture of
offense. It will touch our souls to one degree or another. This means that
the ultimate issue is not – How am I going to
create a world free of this, but rather, how
am I going to respond to it when I meet it?
The answer to that from our Prov.12:16 text is: But
a prudent man conceals dishonor. The key word is ‘conceals’ which is defined by the
following words:‘cover,
hide, overwhelm, close, clothe, to spread over.’
We must be careful to understand that this is not about denial. It is not
about pretending we were not violated when in fact we were. This is not a call
to self-deception.
This whole idea of covering or to spread
over is very close to the same idea of atonement
which means to
cover or to
overwhelm by spreading a covering over a thing.By virtue of this
‘overwhelming by covering’ there is
a blotting out (the removal from view)
of the thing being covered. This is very
different from denial– this is dealing with a thing by blotting
it out. And when it is blotted out it no longer has negative influence over
you.
But here is the twist in all of this – the final point. In any
significant research on the definition of this word you will find the word
forgive or forgiveness many times. There is the heart of it. I cannot stop the insult,
the sin, the offense and the violation of those who choose to do that to me. But
I can choose to forgive, and when I do that
offense is overwhelmed by the
overspreading cover of love, grace and forgiveness.Thus the insult is blotted
out and no longer has any power to keep my soul – my heart– in that locked
up citadel described in Proverbs
18:19.
As long as I choose not to forgive, I remain the victim of the
offender who victimized me.
What is it that makes forgiveness such a powerful and freeing
reality in the lives of those who choose to forgive?Forgiveness is not so much for or about the
offender as it is the offended. Here’s why. In
choosing not to forgive I am assuming the right to judge the offender and to
exact retribution and vengeance. This keeps me tied to the offender and the
offense. The Bible makes it clear that this right
belongs exclusively to God. And for me to assume that right I am assuming the
place of God.
When I choose to forgive I am releasing the offender to the justice
and judgement of God, but far more importantly for me I am submitting myself to
God and giving Him the supreme place of ruler-ship in my heart. This is always
liberating.