Proverbs 18 (cont'd)
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
April 15, 2012 - Pastor Dale
This message is the fifth in a series I have
named, ‘The Unoffendable Heart’.The
core idea is that it is not acts of ministry, gifts, callings, abilities or even
behaviours that finally identify us as Disciples of Christ. Ultimately it is the
state or condition of the heart, i.e. attitude and character that finally
defines me as a true follower of Christ. This means that I am only like Christ
to the actual extent that the heart of Christ (the attitude/character of Christ)
is formed in me. If you want more background there are CDs
available.
I want to return to Proverbs 18:19. This is a
picture of the heart that is most unlike the heart of Christ. From the Amplified
Bible: A brother offended is harder to be won over than a strong
city, and [their] contentions separate them like the bars of a castle.
The picture is that of a person locked away
behind walls; a person totally bared in. Those bars are of his own making and
consist of his contentions, arguments and unyielding positions of attitude and
thought. All of these positions are defensive in nature; self-protecting and
self-preserving. In locking
himself in he has locked all others out. This person is isolated, lonely and
relationally disconnected. At heart we have a person incapable of trusting; a
person who cannot trust.
How does this happen? This person did not
just wake up one morning and find himself unable to trust. Almost always the
inability to trust is rooted in the fact that your
trust has been violated, and almost always that violation relates to an
authority figure.
This truth is graphically communicated in the
following song: Because
of You.
If that song describes where my heart is then
I need to consider one core question: How do I get beyond this place? How can I
ever break free of this fortified citadel? How can I ever trust
again?
The first thing I must do is honestly
acknowledge where I am. As long as I am living in deception regarding the
truth of the state of my heart I cannot come into healing. Or perhaps I am not
deceived concerning the state of my heart but I choose to deny the state of my
heart. This is where we must be very careful that ministry does not become a
cover we hide behind with respect to the truth of our heart. What I do know is
that when all the acts of ministry wind down, when the shouting and singing and
declarations wind down I am still going to be left with the truth of my
heart.
The second thing I can tell you is that the heart is not revealed in a
vacuum;it is revealed in the
context of the details of the journey we are living out. God allows the particular details of
our journey to be what they are for the purpose of demonstrating,
revealing, exposing the truth of our heart. That “truth
of heart”is revealed in our reaction
to the details of the journey.
The third thing we need to know is that there is no moment
of magic in which we are suddenly transported from where we are to where we need
to be. I do believe in deliverance, but deliverance primarily has to do with
the breaking off of demonic influence and strongholds.What
we need to know about those strongholds is that almost always they are tied
to or built upon a deep wound within the heart. The breaking of the
stronghold can be instantaneous but the
healing of wound in the heart is usually progressive. There is a continuous
supply of grace to make the journey of our
healing.
Dealing with the wound means exactly what it
implies – dealing
with the wound. I can tell you this is the most difficult and painful
part of the entire journey of healing because it means going back to the actual
hurt itself and engaging it. The problem in engaging it is that all the feelings
and emotions around it are revived and come flooding back into our
consciousness.
What really complicates this is the fact that
most of this wounding takes place in childhood or even while we are in the womb.
Because as children we have no power to deal with the hurt we tend to (without
knowing it) bury the hurt in the subconscious mind. That means we are literally
unaware of it, and yet from that place
in the subconscious mind it continues to control our feelings and emotions as
well as patterns of behaviour.
Have you ever felt certain things and behaved
in certain ways for which you have no conscious explanation? You do not want to
feel what you’re feeling; you do not want to behave the way you’re behaving. But
for all your “Christian disciplines”
you continue to feel and behave the way you
do.
There is a root to our feelings and
behaviour. That root lies in the heart. That root is a place of wounding within
the heart, and until that place of wounding comes into healing those feelings
and behaviours are going to continue.
In the early 1980’s PBS presented a series of
programs by a psychologist – Doctor Bradshaw. The presentations were based on a
book he wrote called ‘The Homecoming’. The basic premise of the book was that
psychological health depended upon a homecoming; i.e. the journey back to those
events and issues that wounded the soul. I was fascinated with this and bought
the book.
While reading the book I found a strange
thing happening. Without any consciousness of it occurring I would suddenly be
overwhelmed with very powerful feelings and emotions; fear, sadness, anger,
sorrow, loneliness and sometimes joy and peace. There were times when the
emotions were so intense I had to close the book. For awhile I was very
confused about this and even wondered if there was demonic influence associated
with the book.
At some point I began to understand that the
book was opening up memories that I had buried deep in my subconscious realm.
And with those memories came all the feelings I just described. In that sense I
had come home to realities, hurts and wounds I didn’t even know
existed.
That was the critical point in the journey.
Once I was face to face with the hidden issues of my soul I had a decision to
make: would I deal with the wound, or would I deny it, bury it deeper in my soul
and add one more bar to the fortified city of Proverbs 18? The choices I made
around that book kicked off a journey of healing that continues to this day.
I passed that book along to others who
requested it and after about the first two chapters they passed it back
acknowledging that they could not deal with the pain. A very good friend of
mine (lives in another country) told me that he was presented with a major
promotion with his employment. When he took it on he found major anxiety issues
begin to develop. His company paid for treatments that involved a psychologist.
After the second meeting he could not return. He reported to me horrific
memories of unbelievable abuse and abandonment – memories he had totally
buried. And yet although he was no longer conscious of the actual memories
those memories were manifesting in the form of black nightmares just about
every night of his life.
Why do we insist on reading a book called
‘Broken Children, Grownup Pain’? Why do we insist that people go through our
‘Cleansing Steam Study’? And why are people often resistant to do
either?
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around
me
Because of you
I am afraid.
Look at those lyrics and consider the
following questions: 1) How am I going to venture beyond my own
sidewalk? 2) How am I going to get
beyond playing it safe so I don’t hurt –which is just another way of saying –
How am I going to give up control? 3) How am I going to come to a place
of trusting my own heart and those I’m in relationship with? 4)
How am I going to get beyond relational
fear?
The answer has everything to do with the
opening phrase: ‘Because of you.’
Until we deal with the “you” who
wounded us, who violated our trust and spurned our love – the “you”
who first caused our heart to be offended, we will never come into healing.
Dealing with that “you”involves one
core reality: FORGIVENESS.
This is where we will pick it up the next
time.
April 15, 2012 - Pastor Dale
This message is the fifth in a series I have
named, ‘The Unoffendable Heart’.The
core idea is that it is not acts of ministry, gifts, callings, abilities or even
behaviours that finally identify us as Disciples of Christ. Ultimately it is the
state or condition of the heart, i.e. attitude and character that finally
defines me as a true follower of Christ. This means that I am only like Christ
to the actual extent that the heart of Christ (the attitude/character of Christ)
is formed in me. If you want more background there are CDs
available.
I want to return to Proverbs 18:19. This is a
picture of the heart that is most unlike the heart of Christ. From the Amplified
Bible: A brother offended is harder to be won over than a strong
city, and [their] contentions separate them like the bars of a castle.
The picture is that of a person locked away
behind walls; a person totally bared in. Those bars are of his own making and
consist of his contentions, arguments and unyielding positions of attitude and
thought. All of these positions are defensive in nature; self-protecting and
self-preserving. In locking
himself in he has locked all others out. This person is isolated, lonely and
relationally disconnected. At heart we have a person incapable of trusting; a
person who cannot trust.
How does this happen? This person did not
just wake up one morning and find himself unable to trust. Almost always the
inability to trust is rooted in the fact that your
trust has been violated, and almost always that violation relates to an
authority figure.
This truth is graphically communicated in the
following song: Because
of You.
If that song describes where my heart is then
I need to consider one core question: How do I get beyond this place? How can I
ever break free of this fortified citadel? How can I ever trust
again?
The first thing I must do is honestly
acknowledge where I am. As long as I am living in deception regarding the
truth of the state of my heart I cannot come into healing. Or perhaps I am not
deceived concerning the state of my heart but I choose to deny the state of my
heart. This is where we must be very careful that ministry does not become a
cover we hide behind with respect to the truth of our heart. What I do know is
that when all the acts of ministry wind down, when the shouting and singing and
declarations wind down I am still going to be left with the truth of my
heart.
The second thing I can tell you is that the heart is not revealed in a
vacuum;it is revealed in the
context of the details of the journey we are living out. God allows the particular details of
our journey to be what they are for the purpose of demonstrating,
revealing, exposing the truth of our heart. That “truth
of heart”is revealed in our reaction
to the details of the journey.
The third thing we need to know is that there is no moment
of magic in which we are suddenly transported from where we are to where we need
to be. I do believe in deliverance, but deliverance primarily has to do with
the breaking off of demonic influence and strongholds.What
we need to know about those strongholds is that almost always they are tied
to or built upon a deep wound within the heart. The breaking of the
stronghold can be instantaneous but the
healing of wound in the heart is usually progressive. There is a continuous
supply of grace to make the journey of our
healing.
Dealing with the wound means exactly what it
implies – dealing
with the wound. I can tell you this is the most difficult and painful
part of the entire journey of healing because it means going back to the actual
hurt itself and engaging it. The problem in engaging it is that all the feelings
and emotions around it are revived and come flooding back into our
consciousness.
What really complicates this is the fact that
most of this wounding takes place in childhood or even while we are in the womb.
Because as children we have no power to deal with the hurt we tend to (without
knowing it) bury the hurt in the subconscious mind. That means we are literally
unaware of it, and yet from that place
in the subconscious mind it continues to control our feelings and emotions as
well as patterns of behaviour.
Have you ever felt certain things and behaved
in certain ways for which you have no conscious explanation? You do not want to
feel what you’re feeling; you do not want to behave the way you’re behaving. But
for all your “Christian disciplines”
you continue to feel and behave the way you
do.
There is a root to our feelings and
behaviour. That root lies in the heart. That root is a place of wounding within
the heart, and until that place of wounding comes into healing those feelings
and behaviours are going to continue.
In the early 1980’s PBS presented a series of
programs by a psychologist – Doctor Bradshaw. The presentations were based on a
book he wrote called ‘The Homecoming’. The basic premise of the book was that
psychological health depended upon a homecoming; i.e. the journey back to those
events and issues that wounded the soul. I was fascinated with this and bought
the book.
While reading the book I found a strange
thing happening. Without any consciousness of it occurring I would suddenly be
overwhelmed with very powerful feelings and emotions; fear, sadness, anger,
sorrow, loneliness and sometimes joy and peace. There were times when the
emotions were so intense I had to close the book. For awhile I was very
confused about this and even wondered if there was demonic influence associated
with the book.
At some point I began to understand that the
book was opening up memories that I had buried deep in my subconscious realm.
And with those memories came all the feelings I just described. In that sense I
had come home to realities, hurts and wounds I didn’t even know
existed.
That was the critical point in the journey.
Once I was face to face with the hidden issues of my soul I had a decision to
make: would I deal with the wound, or would I deny it, bury it deeper in my soul
and add one more bar to the fortified city of Proverbs 18? The choices I made
around that book kicked off a journey of healing that continues to this day.
I passed that book along to others who
requested it and after about the first two chapters they passed it back
acknowledging that they could not deal with the pain. A very good friend of
mine (lives in another country) told me that he was presented with a major
promotion with his employment. When he took it on he found major anxiety issues
begin to develop. His company paid for treatments that involved a psychologist.
After the second meeting he could not return. He reported to me horrific
memories of unbelievable abuse and abandonment – memories he had totally
buried. And yet although he was no longer conscious of the actual memories
those memories were manifesting in the form of black nightmares just about
every night of his life.
Why do we insist on reading a book called
‘Broken Children, Grownup Pain’? Why do we insist that people go through our
‘Cleansing Steam Study’? And why are people often resistant to do
either?
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around
me
Because of you
I am afraid.
Look at those lyrics and consider the
following questions: 1) How am I going to venture beyond my own
sidewalk? 2) How am I going to get
beyond playing it safe so I don’t hurt –which is just another way of saying –
How am I going to give up control? 3) How am I going to come to a place
of trusting my own heart and those I’m in relationship with? 4)
How am I going to get beyond relational
fear?
The answer has everything to do with the
opening phrase: ‘Because of you.’
Until we deal with the “you” who
wounded us, who violated our trust and spurned our love – the “you”
who first caused our heart to be offended, we will never come into healing.
Dealing with that “you”involves one
core reality: FORGIVENESS.
This is where we will pick it up the next
time.